Happy Trails — Part 2

I’ll be 47 years old in a couple of weeks. I remembered I was 12 years old; and one day while walking home from school — for some reason, thoughts of what my life would be like when I’m 47 came to mind… it seems like forever at the time — 35 years away. Yet, little did I realize that it would come a lot quicker than what my childish mind have perceived.  At the time I thought I probably would have kids, have a husband who loves me forever… have a house filled with love and laughter, I would be this great artist, and have the financial independence to travel the world; all the innocent thoughts of a child — full of hopes and dreams — dreams of that perfect life. The only things that came true were the kids. And while not great… I’m an artist.

It has been quite a tumultuous journey… my so call journey of life. Often times I wonder why some people seem to have a life that seems so easy — so perfect. They set out to get what they want: work hard and obtained their desires. Then there are many of us who seems to wander endlessly… like a feather in the wind — seeking the same and yet we can’t seem to get it no matter how hard we try. Perhaps it’s because our destiny has already been etched in stone and we can’t change it — no matter how we tried to rewrite it. And yet, my tenacious personality refuses to let me believe that. I find myself keep trying… wanting to rewrite my destiny. Because I just don’t want to settle for less — at least not all the time. There are situations beyond my control that I have to do whatever to survive. However, what really bothers me more than anything else in this world is to depend my livelihood on people who are undependable.

Last week, I was so happy to finally find a job so soon after closing my restaurant. It was such a relief to know the furry kids and I would not be homeless. And the job has a lot of potential for me to move forward financially. I was told to start work on Monday. The owner said he would call me to let me know the exact time. Monday came and by 10 am, I didn’t hear anything; I called the owner. My alarm sensor went off when I heard his voice. He made some excuses about being busy and that he would call me back in an hour. Well… an hour later and still no words. I try to be optimistic and gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was busy. I decided to call my landlord to let him know the good news and I won’t have to move out of the apartment. Little did I know that phone call would change the course of my life in an instant. I was shocked, disappointed and disgusted beyond belief when I found out through my landlord that I don’t have the job. My landlord had lunch with the owner’s fiancé over the weekend and she told him they are not going to hire me. We both knew it was her who didn’t want to hire me… jealous? But what made me even angrier was the fact that neither the owner nor the general manager had the courtesy to call and let me know personally. When I finally talked to the GM, he sounded very uncomfortable, gave me some lame excuse on why the change of plan and that he would have called me sooner but he didn’t have my phone number… really… I deserved a better answer than that.

Needless to say, this week I’ve been ridding on an emotional roller coaster — pondering about my seemingly torturous life. Why God? I asked. I don’t ask for much. I don’t want all the material crap or the desire to be filthy rich. I just want a joyful, peaceful life where I can contribute some positive difference and to share it with someone who will love me for who I am. Seems simple enough and yet it has been easier said than done.

After beating myself up, and being angry at the world for the week, I decided that I wasn’t going to let this set back get the best of me. As they say… back to the drawing board. Even though once again, the furry kids and I have to deal with being homeless. And my job opportunities don’t look very promising. I try to see the positive things in this ordeal. As I sit and looked through the photos I took on my recent trip, I realized how lucky I am to be able to travel freely and captured the beauty of  my world. I’m grateful to have taken the weekend trip before the bad news. At least, I fulfilled my dream of visiting one of the most amazing landscapes in person.

While I’m not sure where this journey will continue to take me, I know it will not be empty. Until we meet again my fellow bloggers and friends… Happy Trails!

With a view like that… I would be more than happy to live in a box.

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27 Comments on “Happy Trails — Part 2

  1. Pingback: I’m “Inspiring”, but these other bloggers are more inspiring! (Thanks House Elf) | Musings, Photographic and Otherwise

  2. You are a marvel, Emily. You are constantly achieving what a normal person would never. Fantastic pictures, taking the two kids out for weekends, having tried a business, having the vigour and zeal in spite of the setbacks. Hang in right there and that little girl’s dream just might come true — all of it.

    Much love.

    • Thank you Priya for your wonderful compliment. I don’t know about being a marvel, but thank you. 🙂

      For the most part, I try to be positive about the setbacks in life and accept them as life lessons I’m suppose to learn — though I do have many days where I sing the “Oh, why is life so hard on me… it’s so unfair…” songs. But it’s all good. Especially, when I get supportive comments such as yours. I find the motivation to forward. 🙂

  3. Such lovely photos, Emily. Life has certainly been hard for you lately but I’m sure that there are better things ahead. It sounds like you certainly didn’t need those kind of people in your life…keep going ahead one step at a time.

  4. Some absolutely lovely photographs here and your tale… well yeah, I once read this book called “Life isn’t all ha-ha-hee-hee” and boy is that true. I wish I had £1 or €1 for every time a company had treated me the same way… I reckon I’d have 6.75 by now 🙂 That whole thing with your landlord is awful… oh, things can be so unfair… but I also agree with sunsetseasoul and I’d even go as far as to say we shouldn’t compare ourselves but yes, it looks like some people really have things handed to them on a plate.

    Just one look at your photos and words tells me that you care enough about the world to want to share your experiences and they enhance my life so think of this, think of the effect on others of the good things you are doing. It’s not easy to put aside all the negativity especially if there are consequences that you can’t ignore.

    So chin up, smile and think positive, that’s what I tell myself!

    …muchos abrazos de españa 🙂

  5. Emily, I’m very sad to read these words. I suppose they confirm how some human nature can be – human nature is something that I can become very cynical about – but that doesn’t make things any better for you and you are the center point here >>> I feel for you!

    This is an easy thing to say and a hard thing to do – but there’s no way now but onwards and forwards to something new.

    As I get older, and especially through this blog, I’ve learnt that we are all different – what works for one person may not work for another. For me though – and I can only talk about what works for me here – I wouldn’t go too far down the road of asking (presumably the Christian) god why this has happened, and I wouldn’t think about your destiny. I don’t believe in either of these phenomena.

    You just have to move on. And although I have disparaged human nature, I also know that much of it can be glowingly warm – and that’s what you’re looking for.

    And the other thing is – yes, you certainly are an artist, and no one can ever take that away from you. The pictures here are excellent.

    Take care. Adrian

    • I know what you mean… I can get very cynical about human nature too… especially when things like this happens. Never understand why people have to make others suffer because of their own fear and insecurities. But then when I get comments such as yours, Martyn, Roberta, Belen and other wonderful people that warms my heart and soul; I know there are still a lot of kind and caring souls out there in this crazy world. While I’m not much into religion, I do know that good thoughts and words can create amazing energy that makes this world a better place. Thank you, Adrian. 🙂

  6. Hi Emily, You my dear are a great artist.. I too look at people and their lives look so hunky dory and their children are doing well etc. I believe it is the humble in heart that inherit great things. It may not always be monetary but we gain wisdom, compassion for others in our shoes. As we look for ways to help someone in distress, a hug, a shoulder to lean or a free meal we are on our way to victory. Look at those in past times that have overcome obstacles in life only to flourish in business or music and art. Look at those that were told they would not amount to anything but with sheer determination they persevered and their lives turned around. There is a website called Caretakers Gazette and there are people looking for someone to caretake or just live in their home while they travel. It does cost to receive it for a year and not a quick remedy for you but something to think about and look into. You are at a place of learning valuable lessons and your time is coming. Those that have everything handed to them easily often don’t learn the soft and easy way. God is with you throughout all of these events and challenges. Trust with all of your heart and be prepared for open doors. Look for opportunities to get a roof over your head by offering to cook on a ranch or something in exchange for housing.. My prayers are with you, beautiful and very young lady.. (:

  7. Oh, Emily, you deserve so much better than this! As frustrating as it must seem to have this new potential opportunity fall through, if the proprietor treats you this way, you are definitely better off to know in advance that this would have been a mistake. You clearly have such a sweet gift–you will surely merge with your destiny soon, and it will be all you have envisioned.

    • Thank you for the kind words, Gary. Yes, I deserve better but you know… that’s life… some people just feel the need to put others down so they can feel powerful. It’s okay… it just means this isn’t the path I am suppose to take. I went to a Chamber of Commerce business meeting last night and I came across a few opportunities that might be interesting… so we will see where my destiny will continue to take me.

  8. I’m so sorry to learn about the job falling through. I don’t understand why people are like that. Hopefully something better for you is in the near future. I know all too well about having to change paths drastically. They are mostly due to health reasons, but right now, I am once again, in between paths.
    Hoping to hear good news from you soon.

    • Thank you, Fergiemoto. Yes, some people are difficult to understand and honestly it would be scary trying to understand them. I know there is something better for me and this is just a little bump in the road. I hope all is well for you and that your path will not be too bumpy… 🙂

  9. I don’t really know why some people have it easier than others. I choose to believe it’s because we all come to this world on a journey to learn something we need to learn. Maybe we come more than once, and we learn different things every time. Maybe sometimes our life is wonderful and sometimes it’s impossibly hard. I have no certainties, only faith. Also, I read this quote on Pinterest: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steven Furtick. Maybe it’s not insecurity in your case, but we might think others have it easier because we’re only seeing the surface of their lives…
    I wish you all the best, Em, and I hope to hear good news from you soon :).

    • Belen, you have such a beautiful heart and soul. I am happy to know that you will be able to pass that on to our next generation because I know you are the kind of teachers that our world need more of. I hope that the kids who are fortunate enough to have you as their teacher will know how lucky they are. And will take what they learn from you and pass it on so this world can be a better place.

      I know that perfection is only on the surface. No matter how much you think you know there is always something more to learn. Thanks, Belen for the comforting comment. I’m sure things will work out for me as best as it can be… 🙂

  10. I’m so sorry to hear this Emily. Some people just have no couth. You’re definitely better off not working for him. Saying a prayer for you that you will find what you’re looking for.

    • Yes, I’m glad to find out the kind of people they are before I invest any of my time and talents. Thank you, Bonnie for your prayer and good thoughts… very much appreciated. 🙂

    • Yes, it’s amazing how people can be so blind and dumb. I know I would want to surround myself with the most knowledgeable people to grow my business. But I’ve seen it all too often that insecurities and ego plays a big part in business. Thanks for the supportive words, Erin. It will most definitely help me get to my next adventure. 🙂

  11. I am feeling absolute shock and disgust that a company could treat a person that way. I always believe that things happen for a reason, and I truly think you are better off not working for ignorant people like that!! It’s their loss – just remember that! And I know you are destined to find something else where the people will actually aopreciate you and your skills :).

    • Thank you Cindy. Yes, I know you are right. And I am glad to not have wasted any time and talents with people like that. It is their loss. I know there are greater things for me and these challenges are just tests to see how I can deal with the greatness ahead. 🙂

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